Pritam's Blog
The Therapist And Her Bookshelf
“How are you feeling, Pritam?”
It’s my therapist. After a long break of more than three months, we both decided that it would be good to catch up via video call.
And for the first time I felt like her choice of words was a bit annoying. Why ‘how are you feeling’ and not just ‘how are you’? We know dealing with feelings is what you do but do you have to say it aloud?
I got a huge crush on my therapist. So, I let it slide. I also realized the diminished intensity of my feelings for her.
“I am doing good, I guess. How are you?” I asked.
“All well. Are you in Bangalore?”
“Nope.”
“With your parents?”
“Yes.”
“How are things over there? Are you working from home?”
“You mean do I still have my job?” I chuckled.
“Well, yeah…”
“How else do you think I could have afforded you? You charge a fortune.”
She smiled. A pretty smile.
I noticed a huge shelf of books behind her. And I wondered how could she, a therapist, fall for this?
Attending formal video calls from in front of the book shelf has become like a fashion now. People even go to the extent of decorating their shelf with handpicked hardcovers. The message is clear. You are talking to a well-read person.
Nothing wrong about it. I just find it pretentious. And in her case, it was distracting. For a moment, I wondered if I was wasting my money. But then I remembered she has fixed me to a great extent.
In my own way, however, I wanted to make a point. So, I tilted my laptop so that the table next to my bed is visible to her. Dean Koontz. Sigmund Freud. George Eliot. Plato. Das Kapital. And in between Chetan Bhagat and Durjoy Dutta.
“You have an interesting collection. What are you reading now?” She asked.
“None of these. I am reading Drive Your Plow Over The Bones Of The Dead. By Olga Tokarczuk.”
“Is it good?”
“Not sure. Just started,” I replied.
“Hummm… How’s your sleep?”
“That’s where I am having difficulty,” I told her. “I am barely sleeping for 4-5 hours.”
“What time do you go to bed?”
“Around 2 at night. What time do you sleep?”
“I sleep early… Do you work from your bed?” She asked.
“Yes, why?”
“You shouldn’t. Our body and mind get conditioned as per our habits. If you work from your bed, your body gets used to remaining awake and alert. So, when you lie down to sleep, it becomes difficult for everything to shut. You should use your bed only to sleep and to have sex.”
“I prefer dining table… Sometimes, on the kitchen slab,” I replied.
“What?” She seemed a bit confused.
“For the latter one…”
She took a pause. Then started laughing.
“It’s always nice talking to you. And I mean it.”
“Shouldn’t I be saying this? I am the patient. You are my therapist.”
“Well, there’s nothing wrong about that. If anything, it means you are doing good.”
“Am I?” I asked.
“Humor is always a good sign…”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah…”
We hung up a little later. It felt good. I am doing better.
But her bookshelf, it’s still bothering me.