Pritam's Blog
Sometimes, It Just Takes 6 Seconds To Get A Life
Took a 2 hour long nap this afternoon after a long time. Woke up and as always, checked WhatsApp, Instagram and Facebook, in that order. A friend had shared the song ‘Give Me Some Sunshine’ from 3 Idiots on Facebook. I listened to it and suddenly I got a panic attack.
Years of counselling has taught me how to deal with panic attacks. But this happened after a long time. I couldn’t help but wonder what had triggered it. I know it was the song, but why?
And then I remembered something that happened yesterday. On working days, I leave at around 9:30-10:00 in the morning. I return home around 12-13 hours later, have dinner and then chill a bit, spend a little time with myself if there’s no office work. Apart from that, I barely go out. So, basically, my neighbours do not even know me. I didn’t realise it until yesterday.
Yesterday, I had to meet some friends in the afternoon. I got ready, came out of the apartment, locked the door. I was checking if it was locked properly, pushing the door and all, thanks to my OCD, when a guy showed up. He looked at me pushing the door, probably thought I had come to meet someone and said, “Nobody lives in here. You have probably come to the wrong apartment.”
WTF!
“I LIVE HERE,” I said, probably a little loud.
“Oh, I have never seen you,” he said and went inside one of the adjacent apartments.
Thankfully, he didn’t think of me trying to break in or something. Anyway, it had been bothering me. I am the oldest tenant in this building and people don’t even know me. It’s a good thing, considering the kind of person I am. But then again, the reasons didn’t seem right.
I thought about all these after the panic attack and it made sense. ‘Bachpan toh gaya, jawaani bhi gayi, ek pal toh ab humey jeeney do, jeeney do…’
I studied till I was 27. And now, I am working like a maniac. Never really took a proper break. I chose it, true. And that’s why I don’t have a life. I don’t have enough time to get a life.
Anyway, I didn’t feel like staying home. Badly needed to get some air. I booked a cab, just to roam around in my favourite city without any purpose.
The cab was at a traffic signal. The timer showed 20 seconds before it would turn green. The vehicles were honking vehemently as if the world was about to end and it was their last chance to save themselves.
Amidst all these chaos, an old, handicapped woman was dragging herself from one vehicle to another, begging. Nobody cared. Except for one man on a bike.
The timer showed 6 seconds now. And yet, the man took out his wallet, picked up a 50 rupee note and handed it over to the old lady. It pissed off the people behind him, including the driver of my cab. The man didn’t give a flying fuck though.
And I realised that sometimes life is in these short moments. I felt better.