Pritam's Blog
She Is So Worth It
I have always believed in this Bob Marley quote- “ If she’s amazing, she won’t be easy. If she’s easy, she won’t be amazing. If she’s worth it, you won’t give up. If you give up, you’re not worthy… Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.”
I was in love with this girl who was my best friend for seven years. Probably that’s why she could never cut contact with me even when I had made her life a hell, trying to convince her to accept me. For two long years, I proposed her innumerable times in innumerable ways and she rejected me every time because she didn’t want to get into a relationship. I never lost hope. There were times when I felt like leaving her and move on with my life. She hurt me so much. ‘But is there anyone else, any other girl in this whole world who is half as amazing as this one?’, I would think and change my mind. ‘I can’t live without you’, I would send a message to her. And we would fight again. She would say, “You are such a selfish bastard. You think about yourself. Who gives a shit about what I want? Not even you. It was a mistake to consider you my best friend.”
So this thing continued for two years; me trying to convince her, she trying not to get into all these. She tried many times to cut contact with me, but couldn’t. So, even after all those fights, whenever I asked her to meet me, or go for a movie or have lunch together, she never said NO. But we would fight in those meetings as well.
One day, while we were fighting I asked her- “Do you like someone else? Is that the reason you don’t want to accept me?” Yes, I really used to think that it might be a reason.
“Do you think after dealing with an asshole like you all day, I have the inclination to like some other guy? Guys disgust me.”
She just rejected me again and said that I was an asshole, but trust me I couldn’t hide my happiness after hearing this. ’So, she doesn’t like anyone else. And though she doesn’t love me, she likes me. And that’s why she bears with my clingy nature”, I thought and smiled.
Life has changed. Now every morning I get up and it’s she who wakes me up whispering ‘I love you’ in my ear. And every time I ask her why was she so rude back in those days, she says, “I just wanted you to see the rude and angry part of me. Cause I believed if you could deal with it, you could really deal with me. A part of me was already in love with you. But ‘being in love’ dies sooner or later. Couples start fighting and then break up. It takes two- three break ups to realise that that’s life. I didn’t want to lose you. So showed the bad side of relationship and prepared you that way.”
She is so worth it…