Pritam's Blog
Ruksar And My IQ - A Conversation With My Therapist
“Tell me about Ruksar,” asked my therapist.
“What do you want to know about her?” I replied.
“Everything…”
A couple of weeks back, she suggested I maintain a journal. It was then that I told her that I do have a blog where I write stuff when I feel like it’s worth writing. She asked me to share the link with her which I obliged. And that’s how she came to know of Ruksar.
“Everything worth knowing about her is in the blog,” I told her.
That was a lie. I doubt there’s more than two-three entries about Ruksar in the blog while I can really write a book about this amazing woman who died years ago.
“I don’t buy it. She seems to have had a remarkable impact on you,” she said.
“Maybe… I wasn’t in a nice place back then.”
“And now?”
“Now? Sometimes, I even wonder why I am wasting all these money on you, on a therapist.”
She smiled.
“What is it about Ruksar anyway? What exactly do you want to know?” I asked.
“Well, let me be straightforward. Did you really ever pay for sex? Was Ruksar really your…?”
“Whore?” I helped her complete the question. “Don’t you think it’s a very personal question?”
“It is. But then again, isn’t that my job? To help you? I can’t do that if you don’t open up to me…” She paused. “To be honest, I am a bit intrigued as well, probably more than my professional capacity demands…”
“Well, once while I was making out with this girl, the window was open. A monkey sneaked in and stole my wallet. You see, Bangalore has lots of monkeys. Anyway, I had around thousand bucks in it. And my cards. Blocked the cards but lost my thousand bucks. That’s the maximum I had to pay, you know…”
She burst out laughing.
“Is it true? Did that really happen? Or you are just changing the topic?” She asked.
“I might change the topic when I am not comfortable talking about something. But if I answer, I don’t lie.”
“Why don’t we get your IQ checked?” She asked.
“Do you think it’s lower than the average?”
“No. In fact, quite the opposite. I think it’s quite high. Just wanted to get it confirmed.”
“I don’t want to get it confirmed…”
“Why?”
“I have been told by quite a few people that I probably have a high IQ. But all aspects of my life are extremely mediocre, boring, average. There’s no meaningful evidence to even hint that I am intelligent. You see, deep inside, a part of me feels a little happy thinking that I am what some people think I am. I like to believe that it’s true, that I am intelligent. And if I take the test and the result suggests that I am just another mediocre person, I will be disappointed.”
“That makes sense,” she agreed.
“Hey, that’s not the correct response. You should have said, ‘I am sure the results won’t be disappointing.’ Huh!”
“Would it change your mind? About taking the test?”
“Nope.”
“Ok. But think about it.”
“I will… I will probably even write a post about this session with you so that I can mention it, you know, in passing, that I have got high IQ. But I won’t take the test…”
She smiled. “How do you feel about today’s session? In general?”
“Boring as usual. I mean the onus is always on me… to make the conversation interesting. But we can’t do anything about it, can we? I am the patient and you are the therapist… What do you think?”
“I think you don’t need to waste your money anymore,” she smiled. “You seem fit to me.”
“Am I?”
“Yes… But you can ping me any time you want. I mean I just think we don’t need these sessions regularly anymore.”