Pritam's Blog
More Priya Vedis Will Die
The self killing of Priya Vedi, the 30 year old resident doctor at AIIMS is something we should think over.
Dr Priya Vedi, was a victim of this irrational, orthodox society-the one which doesn’t accept Alternate Sexuality. And so was her husband, Dr. Kamal Vedi.
Had the society been open towards Alternate Sexuality, the guy wouldn’t have married a girl in the first place. He did that in order to ‘protect’ his name and his family’s reputation. And of course, things didn’t work. And probably it was because he couldn’t give her what a husband is ‘supposed’ to give his wife, what was expected from him, he ended up torturing his wife mentally, thus, showing her that even she had many ‘flaws’ - “…he started to find faults in me and my family,” Priya Vedi’s Facebook post reads.
What was the alternative? Accepting the truth that he’s homosexual/bisexual? Thanks to our society and our laws, it’s a big taboo here. It means you will be boycotted, it means you will be made fun of…
The LGBT people are looked down upon as something unnatural, unusual, defective creations of nature. Why defective? Because they are not capable of reproducing? Is life all about reproducing? Does loving someone and being happy mean nothing? Who decides something is unnatural or unusual especially when nature has chosen them to be the way they are? Your religion? I do not know about other religions but the Rig Veda says ‘Vikruti Evam Prakriti’ which means ‘diversity is what nature is all about, or what seems unnatural is also natural’. The book Same Sex Love In India: Readings From Literature And History by Ruth Vanita and Saleem Kidwai, a compilation of Indian texts, (including many Hindu texts) and analytical essays on the same, demonstrates that same sex desire was discussed and debated in ancient Bharat ‘in tones ranging from critical to non-judgmental to playful and celebratory’.
No, I am a supporter of Same Sex Marriage and LGBT Rights not because the texts say so, but because I believe in being human rights. I am referring to all these because the religious bigots need references (not that they give a damn). If a religion says that it is a sin to be Homosexual/Bisexual, it (or at least that part of the religion) has to be discarded.
And it is our responsibility to bring the change - we don’t need to be one in order to fight for LGBT Rights. That we are human - the species capable of rational thinking is a good enough reason. Moreover, who knows your own kid/brother/sister might be one of the victims of your being so orthodox or indifferent… We need to show our love and support for them, and fight together with them for their rights.
I got a few messages in the past where people said that they had discovered their partner to be bisexual? And they asked me what they should do. Would their partner cheat on them?
Your partner is bisexual doesn’t mean he or she will cheat on you. Most of us are polygamous, may be not in practice but we do get physically attracted to others even if we are in a stable relationship, we do fantasize. It does not mean all of us cheat on our partners.
This apparent ‘cheating’ in a relationship happens mainly because one is not getting what he/she needs from his/her partner. Like in Priya Vedi’s case, she probably felt a bit cheated because her husband was a homosexual and he was in relationships with other homosexuals. Doesn’t mean it was entirely his responsibility for what happened. It’s the society which is to be blamed.
Priya Vedi chose to die. No, she was not weak. She battled it for five long years. And she loved her husband. Maybe it was an unconditional love. Maybe it was just because she was scared of this selfish, orthodox society, which would have looked down upon her as a failure, as a woman with bad character if she had ran away or got a divorce.
We need to accept that homosexuality/bisexuality are as normal as straight relationships. Also we need to discard this old institute of arranged marriage which is the root cause of these deaths for the two people involved never get to know each other.
Until then, more deaths will happen and we will lose our closed ones.