Pritam's Blog
How To Sabotage A Perfectly Fine Chance Of Having An Extramarital Affair?
OR
The Uber Theory Of Relationships
“You are like a mango milkshake on a Delhi summer day,” she said.
I have the social skills of a bear. It took me a while to process it, whatever she said.
(Did you know that all bears, from the polar bear to the grizzly, like to live alone? It’s unfortunate that the soft toy versions of bears are considered so huggable. The real ones wouldn’t like it at all.)
“Are you flirting with me?” I asked at last.
“What gave it away?”
I just smiled.
“Yes, I have been trying to flirt with you, Pritam. I like you.” She sounded serious. But then again, what do I know? I am bad at these things. Have always been.
She knows I am married. And it’s absolutely ok to flirt or be at the receiving end of it even when you are married. Flirting, I believe, is good for the mind. That’s not the point. The point is someone was flirting with me. ME. It’s scientifically impossible.
Anyway, I said, “You should never entertain yourself when you feel attracted to a married guy. You will always be a second priority for the guy no matter what he says.”
“I know… I know… You are annoyingly honest,” she smiled.
I ignored the last part. I am annoying, yes. I am honest, yes. I know it. “But you know what? I think some of those men who get into extramarital affairs are actually sincere about the way they feel. It’s not always just about getting into the pants of another girl. It’s not about taking a forbidden, sexual adventure.”
“And yet, they all go back to their wives.”
“Yes, because that’s the easy way. Divorce is a tiring process. Then there are kids and all. And we live in a country where when you book a Uber, the driver calls you to ask where the drop is. You tell him the destination and ask him if he is coming. He says he is on his way. You drop the call and he cancels the trip. He doesn’t say it that he doesn’t want to go to that place when you are on the call. He thinks you will feel bad, you see. And he doesn’t want to be there when you feel bad. It will make him feel guilty. So, he cancels the trip and makes you feel bad after dropping the call. Because it’s easier. There’s no accountability. Likewise, we, men, choose to go for the easier way when it comes to our relationships too.”
“But who suffers in the process?” she asked.
“The woman of course. It’s always the woman. Women in love do the right thing. But men, when they fall in love, they do stupid stuff, and the women suffer. Then there’s their sense of entitlement.”
“Dude, you talk like this and then you ask me to not entertain my feelings for you?”
“It’s impossible, scientifically. You might think I am crazy but at one point I did immense research on the science of attraction. Qualitative and quantitative. I considered the different factors that determine whether or not someone, anyone would be attracted to me and then used statistics and probability to find out the chances. I am planning to write an article on it. I will share it with you once I am done but for now, let’s just say that the results were extremely disappointing. Then again, numbers don’t lie and so, I am at peace with it.”
That look on her face. I am sure she thought I was really crazy. I took leave soon. Came out and dropped a message to my wife. “I love You…”
“I love You too. Had lunch? Took those allergy ka medicines?” she replied.
I realised no matter what the findings of my research on the science of attraction (yes, I really did it), love always overpowers all the reasons in the world.