Pritam's Blog
How To Not Get Killed?
Learn how to recite verses from Quran (If you are in India, learn a few Sanskrit verses too) .*
Stop eating beef, pork, even chicken or fish. Be a vegan (if you are in India, don’t include DAL-chawal in your vegetarian menu). That way you won’t offend anyone.*
Be apolitical.*
Be unopinionated. *
Never, I repeat, NEVER use your brain. *
Never use your heart too. *
Don’t fall in love with people from same sex, different religion, different caste, different creed, and different ethnic background. *
In fact don’t fall in love at all. *
However, if you have hot connections, you can think of being a pedophile or a rapist… But let me tell you, connections don’t work always if you are not powerful yourself… *
Stop showing your body parts. Yeah, even if you are a male. *
If you are a male, wear a short kurta on top, and nothing to cover your bottom. Everybody can wear a short Kurta, irrespective of what religion they belong to. But if you wear a Dhoti, you are a Hindu. If you wear a Lungi or a pajama, chances of you being a Muslim is more. (I know this point contradicts with point number 10, but you have to deal with this problem. The only solution I can think of right now is putting a bandage around your penis, but it may not work). *
Never ever shave. Let yourself look like you don’t have time to shave. *
If you are female, stop being that. If you can’t, spend your days in the kitchen, and nights with your man. *
Don’t go to public places like parks, airport, railway stations, where there are people who do not follow point number 1 to 13.*
P.S.: This isn’t a complete list of what to do to not get killed. More info will be added to it later.
*None of these points guarantees life. Following them just increase the possibility of increasing your lifespan to some extent.