Pritam's Blog
Because We Are Selfish
We were discussing about Communism in India. Then, somehow, we switched to Freudian Theory, then Durga Puja, and lastly, the status of sex workers in India - their exploitation.
“Why do you think men go there?” She asked.
I remembered a young man and his “whore” (yeah, that’s what he used to call her when he got angry), Ruksar.
I remembered the time when he started going to her. He was young, sad and lonely. And that night, he was drunk.
He went inside her small room, blabbered for a while and then fell asleep. When he opened his eyes, it was morning. And he found Ruksar sitting beside him, gazing at him.
That’s what he got him obsessed with Ruksar.
That morning he threw a bunch of crumpled notes at her and left without uttering a word.
But he returned the following weekend and then it continued for two years.
Sometimes, he would tell her stories - feel good stories depicting the beauty in small things that give hope, other times he would just get drunk and blabber.
Many times, he left in the morning without paying her because he was broke. And when he had money, he even took her to a three star hotel for she had always wanted, she told him one day, to go to one of those “Star-wala” hotel.
And if he had a bad day, he would yell at her, call her a whore.
But he always made sure to wake up late into the night just to see if she was gazing at him, a gaze that expressed compassion, care, and sympathy.
Then one day, he stopped going there. Probably because he didn’t feel lonely anymore for reasons that are conveniently not part of this story.
A year later, he got a message that Ruksar had died.
I remembered all of these and I hated the young man. And I missed Ruksar.
And I told her, the one who asked me why men go there, “Because we are selfish…”