One of my fondest memories from school involves you. On second thought, actually all of them involve you… The one I am referring to now happened during our kindergarten classes, as far as I remember. I had missed school one day. The next day I came to school, you kept one of your notebooks in my bag without telling me. You probably thought this idiot could use some help. My mom found it when I came home. Returned it the next day. This was one of the cutest things that have ever happened to me.
Even as a kid, you were so kind… You would often help me. Probably, you felt bad for this guy who couldn’t speak in pure Bengali like others and hence, didn’t speak only. Nobody would help me. And I wasn’t smart.
Bengali was one of the subjects I struggled with the most. I remember in Class 2 or 3, again when I missed a class and wasn’t aware of the homework assigned, you saved me. Before the assembly, you came running to me with your notebook. “Tumi to kal absent chile, na? Taratari amar khata theke copy kore nao. Ma’am bokbe nahole,” you said. For inexplicable reasons, you used to call me ‘Tumi’ back in those days.
This nature of yours, to help, remained intact, uncorrupted, even when we were in Class 10, our last year together in school. Despite the competition in the upcoming board exams, you never hesitated to share your notebooks with me if I missed any classes or tuition. Others would, I noticed.
When we spoke the other day for the first time in years, I remembered all these things and I felt a sudden gush of affection towards you. No wonder I fell in love with you. I hope you have still remained the same. I hope the practicalities of life haven’t changed you and made you a cynical person.
I, however, felt you have changed in some other way. You didn’t seem very ok. I might be wrong but I am usually sensitive when it comes to these things.
Lying here in the hospital bed, getting a break from work, I had a chance to think. And I have decided I got to see you at least once more in life. I hope it happens. I hope you are ok with it. And I hope you are ok…